The First Bad Beat of the Blog
Well, it turns out that Empire's reload bonus doesn't start until Thursday, so I was left a bit high-and-dry last night. I still have about 96% of my bonus to clear at Noble Poker, but I could drive to Ameristar, put my name on the list, order a drink, smoke a cigarette, lose $20 playing the slots, and drive home, all before I get a seat on the single 2/4 table that's open there.
I'm really starting to hate waitlists. Not because I'm impatient... I am, but I can kill hours in front of a computer without even thinking about poker, so that's hardly the issue. Mostly it's because I hate seeing such poorly implemented code. I was number nine (number nine... number nine...) of nine on the waitlist for 2/4 on Noble last night. You'd think that, if there are nine players waiting, it might be time to open another table and shove all of us on there. Surely if there were some way to communicate with the other players on the list, I could have convinced some of them to join a new table. Are they worried that the table will break shortly after it starts? Casinos have been using these things called "Must-Move tables" for years now, surely a similar strategy would work. It's really just lazy programming-by-committee bullshit that keeps the interfaces for these sites so terrible.
Anyway, I ended up playing on Ultimate Bet for most of the night, since I left a few hundred there after I cleared their most recent bonus. Someone once said, "If you're not playing for a bonus, you're losing money." I had no idea how right they were... one night with no bonus play and I dropped about 75 big bets. Yuck. The first four hands that I took to show-down, I got beat runner-runner. The third time, we capped on the flop and turn, only to watch the flush hit the river to beat my As and Ks.
Dammit. Well, there it is. My first bad beat story for the blog. My friend J said the other day that she believes that she is doomed to do everything she's ever said she'd never do. It would of course be easy enough for me to go back and delete the offending lines, but at least this way I won't have to worry about letting "The First One" slip out anymore.
Happy Fire Your Boss Day
Thanks to
Girls Are Pretty and my new job for inspiration.
It's going to be uncomfortable, but it has to be done. Today you have to fire your boss.
Explain to him that it's nothing personal. "I know I've only been here for a short time," tell him, "but I can see already that this isn't going to work out." This is when you should hand him the memo.
The memo should be printed out on the company's highest resolution laser printer, and definitely must be on the company's most expensive color letterhead. It absolutely must have the whole To:, From:, Date: and Re: tags that make business memos great. Be sure to CC: your boss's personnel file.
Your boss will look confused while reading, due to the many big words in your memo. Ask him to sit down for a moment to absorb it, and so you can clarify your position.
"Really, it was hiring me that was your mistake," you should say in your most concilliatory tone. "I don't know a damned thing about those Unix servers, but for some reason you gave me a job taking care of them." It's best at this point not to mention the relevant three lines on your resume.
"But I thought..." he'll stammer, scambling for excuses. "I thought it would be okay. They've worked fine for years."
You must remain stern. "This is a very serious issue, boss, not one that we can take likely. We have millions of dollars in revenue depending on the stability of those servers. And not one person here knows the first thing about them. Not even me."
Later, while you are helping him box up his personal effects, comment on how nice his wife looks in his desk picture and ask if they're still together. This should cheer him up.
Happy Fire Your Boss Day!
Seventeen minutes left. Soon, very soon, I'll be playing poker. Finished off my PokerStars bonus last night (gotta love those double FPP hours they're having) and it looks like there's a new Empire bonus to hit tonight. I have hopes that I may be in the range to sit 3/6 for the first time later this weekend.
The Fugitive
In the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
-Gerard Erasmus
It therefore follows that, in the valley of those with no arms, the one-armed man would be unlikely to frame a doctor for his wife's murder.
-Captain Horatio Freeman
I have mixed feelings about my day at work today. I spent the better part of the day netsurfing for answers to a never-ending array of linux questions, commanded by the fearsome Lieutenant Samba. The good news is that I managed to mow most of them down with my Google-gun, and the rest were cleared out when I called in a RedHat air-strike. The bad news is that I may have accidentally gotten myself promoted to Linux Guru.
Not that being a Guru of any sort is a bad thing. Actually, I wouldn't mind at all if I could wear flowing white robes to work. And a staff. I definitely would need to carry a staff. Unfortunately, I will be unlikely to gain that or any other perk due to my abilities. Of course, I'll get geek points for it, but geek points aren't worth much if geeks don't run the place. It's times like this that I wish I could go back to earning geek points for honor instead of having to be so mercenary about it.
Oh No, Not Again
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
-Douglas Adams,
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyI hate starting these things. This has to be about the umpteen-gazillionth time I've started a blog. Now I have a billion things to be unhappy about. I hate the formatting. I hate the editor. I hate everything I've ever written. I hate feeling like I must write something. I hate not writing something even more.
Still, here I am again. Once more into the breech, as it were.
I kinda hope someone reads this someday.
