Girls Are Bad Mojo

I've known for a long time why the pros say that drinking and poker don't mix. And it occasionally occurs to me that girls and poker don't mix^*. But tonight I'd been out drinking with a girl until, um, a little late. Then I outlined the first couple acts of a Science Fiction Masterpiece^**. Then I spent about two hours drinking bourbon and thinking about a girl. And blowing through $150 on a shorthanded 3/6 table at Full Tilt^†.

For the record, Drinking plus Girls is also not conducive to poker^††. And I don't even particularly like bourbon. The only reason I'm drinking it is that somebody bought me this cool-ass hip flask, and I couldn't bring myself to put vodka in it^‡. I filled it with Maker's Mark, because it seemed appropriate and had been recommended by the person who gave it to me.

Need I mention that this person is also a girl?

I rest my case.

Whatever it was.


^*If I actually have any female readers, don't get offended. I don't mean that you can't play poker. I just mean that I can't think about you while I'm playing poker. I learned to play poker online, so I try to envision you all, male and female alike, as pixels.
^**No kidding.
^†And dear lord it felt good.
^††I suppose this should have been intuitively obvious to the most casual observer. Come to think of it, it was.
^‡I just can't see a Russian carrying around a metal hip flask. I mean, it would get cold, right? Like, really cold.

posted by Captain Freeman @ 5:00 AM