Happy Fire Your Boss Day

Thanks to Girls Are Pretty and my new job for inspiration.

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It's going to be uncomfortable, but it has to be done. Today you have to fire your boss.

Explain to him that it's nothing personal. "I know I've only been here for a short time," tell him, "but I can see already that this isn't going to work out." This is when you should hand him the memo.

The memo should be printed out on the company's highest resolution laser printer, and definitely must be on the company's most expensive color letterhead. It absolutely must have the whole To:, From:, Date: and Re: tags that make business memos great. Be sure to CC: your boss's personnel file.

Your boss will look confused while reading, due to the many big words in your memo. Ask him to sit down for a moment to absorb it, and so you can clarify your position.

"Really, it was hiring me that was your mistake," you should say in your most concilliatory tone. "I don't know a damned thing about those Unix servers, but for some reason you gave me a job taking care of them." It's best at this point not to mention the relevant three lines on your resume.

"But I thought..." he'll stammer, scambling for excuses. "I thought it would be okay. They've worked fine for years."

You must remain stern. "This is a very serious issue, boss, not one that we can take likely. We have millions of dollars in revenue depending on the stability of those servers. And not one person here knows the first thing about them. Not even me."

Later, while you are helping him box up his personal effects, comment on how nice his wife looks in his desk picture and ask if they're still together. This should cheer him up.

Happy Fire Your Boss Day!

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Seventeen minutes left. Soon, very soon, I'll be playing poker. Finished off my PokerStars bonus last night (gotta love those double FPP hours they're having) and it looks like there's a new Empire bonus to hit tonight. I have hopes that I may be in the range to sit 3/6 for the first time later this weekend.

posted by Captain Freeman @ 5:19 PM