Shot In The Dark

"Am I dark?" I asked my friend.

"You mean, like, your skin, or...?"

"I don't know. I was told I'm dark."

That's not exactly what I was told. I was half-way through a bottle of wine with an attractive friend when she said, "I love you, Brian. You're always so dark."

Cute girls telling me why they love me always seems to stick in my brain. Unfortunately, I did not have the same reaction with whatever I said that inspired her commentary. I don't honestly pay much attention to anything that I say, but I've never really thought of myself as dark.

"I'm a realist," said the optimist. "Yeah, well, good luck with that then," the pessimist replied.

"I don't know if I'd call you dark," my friend finally replied. "Although your humour can be."

There's only two kinds of funny. There's human suffering, and there's juxtaposition of the absurd. You can, of course, combine the two (Alan Funt As A Nazi: "We were just wondering what would happen if we installed jets that spew deadly gasses into these average-looking shower stalls. Let's watch.") but all humour can be reduced to one of those.

Of the two, juxtaposition of the absurd is far more humourous. Unfortunately, not everyone finds the same things absurd that I do. One man's Alien Kidnapping is another man's Finding Five Dollars In An Old Coat Pocket. Human suffering, on the other hand, is universal. Man Falling On Banana Peel is funny to anyone in the world, no matter what color the man is, where the banana peel is sitting, or what language he uses to say "FUCK!"

It really isn't that I'm dark. It's just that my idea of absurd is so much more absurd than yours. The jokes about human suffering are the only ones that most people understand.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Despite the following results:

the Wit (68% dark, 23% spontaneous, 5% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais AND FINALLY -- after you rate my test with a sweet, sweet '5' -- you must take this test next: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test. It's not mine, but it rocks.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on dark You scored higher than 3% on spontaneous You scored higher than 0% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

posted by Captain Freeman @ 2:25 PM