Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fungus

Well, who says absence makes the heart grow fonder
In all the pictures that you send to me
Your hair seems to get just a little bit blonder
Cars break down
And people break down
And other things break down too
I felt something slip
When you left on your trip
And now I think I'm breaking down on you
-The Refreshments

Yeah, so I haven't updated in a while. Spent most of the month very, very depressed. I've been really sick, which hasn't helped, although I have lost about 20 pounds. Of course that just means that the $300 suit I just bought won't fit by the time I get a chance to wear it. My job is still killing me. Home life has still been alternately stressful and boring. But the real problem, the absolute heart of the matter, is that I dropped almost $1100 throughout the month of August.

As of August 1, I had just moved up to the 3/6 tables on Full Tilt and was doing pretty well for myself. Then the slide started. Honestly, I can't tell whether all the things whined about above are the cause or the effect of the slide. I think it's a self-feeding cycle: drop a couple buy-ins, bad mood sets in, making all the other things seem/get worse, which just tilts me more, making me drop a couple of buy-ins... Later. Rinse. Repeat.

Things have mostly turned around now. I'm eating occasionally, home has settled down to just boring, work isn't bothering me quite as much (except while I'm there), and I've started the long slow climb out of the hole I've dug. For the moment, I've dropped back to 2/4. I think I plugged my leaks well enough to handle 3/6 again, but I'm going to make myself earn it.

All things considered, the month could have been worse on my bankroll. Barring a really bad or really good night tonight, I should finish up around $900 in the red for the month, but thanks to my obsessive bonus chasing the final total will be more like -$400. If that's the worse downswing I ever take... well, I should be so lucky. I've read other bloggers having downswings 100x that amount.

Hey, I got mentioned on Card Club! Cincy and Stacks read bits of my email on the air. I feel like such a fanboy for getting excited, but it was really just a quick Thanx that I dashed off to them after listening to the last show, so I wasn't expecting to get airtime. They did make the first public announcement of my impending podcast, which I mentioned was directly inspired by them. They even promised to pimp it, no matter how disgusting or profane the subject matter. It really makes me want to strive to offend, but that's really not my forte. Still, I'm going to hold them to it... as soon as something is ready.

Speaking of ready, I've got a longish post (oh, like this one is short or something?) on How I Turned It Around earlier this month that's almost in the can. Expect that sometime soon. I've got a major announcement that I hope to make in the next week or so, for which you will all (yes, all twothree of my readers) will call me crazy. I've got a whole bunch of blog posts flagged in Rojo that I want to comment on. I've got quickie reviews of some of my favorite poker blogs written and Saved As Drafts in blogger. I've got design changes coming. And I've got to get back to work.

posted by Captain Freeman @ 9:38 AM